Close to Me
by redwolfbane
Summary: Separated by conflicting competitions, Yuuri receives shocking news about Viktor while skating... (More chapters maybe...) (YuurixViktor)
1. Chapter 1

"Viktor fell."

The memorized violin came to a haunting end - brain suddenly losing the song I'd learned to click of my blades against the ice was almost deafening in the numbing silence that followed the shattering words. A blind haze clouded my mind as I unconsciously skated toward Minako in record time.

"It's bad, Yuuri."

Her face was pale, large eyes watching my every movement as I stepped shakily from the ice - mind at a complete halt; failing to process anything.

If there was one thing that Viktor Nikiforov never did, it was fall. Beyond that, he never fell badly. And even more horrifyingly, he never fell at a competition.

Much less the Russian Nationals.

I pushed through the doors without a word to her, fingers shaking against the cold metal. I wasn't sure if she continued talking to me, I couldn't hear her voice through the blood pounding in my ears.

The blood forced from my racing heart drowned out all other sounds. It was like a fog had slowed every movement, taken every breath - my chest was collapsing.

The phone rung out - dead tone - and his voicemail prompt made my heart stop. The phone slipped from my fingertips, hitting the floor with a clatter before I heard her voice again.

"He's at Mariinsky Hospital in St. Petersburg - we just saw the news…"

I had my skates off and slipped my shoes on in a second, leaving my blades abandoned behind. I shouldered through the doors, stepping into the on my first step down the stairs, I fell down the remaining three. I landed in a puddle, trying to break my fall with my wrists I scraped my hands against the cement.

The following throb that entered my wrist triggered every fall I'd ever taken - especially with him. It finally processed and I sucked in a desperate breath, scrambling to my feet.

"What happened?" It came out weaker than I expected as I turned to watch her run down the steps toward me.

I blinked - not sure if the water in my eyes was the rain off my hair or the rising tears coming with a hacking sob.

 _Why didn't you go to Russia with him? How could you stay behind?_

She herded me to the car. "He fell during a jump and hit his head."

 _Why? What for? Is anything more important to you?_

 _How could you not go?_

She didn't even ask where to go and we were at the airport before I opened my mouth again. My mind was frozen in the time we'd last said goodbye when he'd left for the competition.

I'm not sure if she hugged me before I left. I'm not sure when I bought my ticket or when I boarded the plane or how long the flight was. All I heard, thrumming in my ears, was that haunting violin.

 _Stay close to me..._

I could hear his voice in every memorized vibration of the strings.

 _Why didn't you stay close to me?_

Minako called Yurio I think. I'm not sure why else he and his Grandpa picked me up when I arrived - I don't think he talked to me, I know I didn't talk to him.

The hospital was shockingly white - blinding as I stumbled through the halls after the boy, winding my way toward him.

 _Stay close to me…_

 _Where are you?_

I knew it was his door the minute I saw it.

I could feel him.

Yurio paused outside, ever-present frown tightening as he stepped aside to allow me to enter alone. He didn't follow my shaky steps through the door.

The bed was white - almost matching his skin, his hair.

I tired to say his name but my breath was gone as I took in his skin, pale, sweaty… pain.

I gathered his cold hand in mine in a moment, fingers intertwining with his as I gripped him harder then I should have. I tried to grip his hand close to me, rewrite the wrong of my absence, tell him I'm sorry a million times, reassure him I was here…. Keep him closer than ever before...

 _Stay close to me..._

My head slumped against his shoulder as I tried to feel him, find my breath…

"Yurri…"

It was a breath - the breath I needed.

Icy blue eyes, half lidded, watched me - a small smile spreading across his sickly skin.

"Viktor?!" I barely heard my own whisper, choked as the moisture from my eyes blurred out all vision. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" My voice rose in a rasped sob, clinging to him I felt a shaky hand on my back, a sigh from his lips touched my skin.

"I knew you would be here..."

Forcing myself to look at him, I blinked as his weak grin spread.

"No, no I wasn't here! I'm sorry I didn't come!" I felt a tear - hot, angry - I blinked it away with gritted teeth. "I should have dropped my whole competition and came with you! I'm so sorry I failed you, Viktor!"

He was barely able to shake his head, hand reaching my neck to pull my head against him gently - his sigh tousling my hair. "You were always here with me. No matter where you are...you will always be close to me."


	2. Chapter 2

Maybe it was the matching rings that made the man pull me aside.

He put a hand on my shoulder, leading me to the corner of the hospital room. Viktor was fast asleep - silver hair strewn around him in a mess.

His ring was set on the table by his bed, glinting in the just rising sun - I guess I'd been here all night. Yurio had tried to get me to leave; he'd got a hotel for me, but I never went.

Brushing the matted, black hair from my eyes, I stifled a yawn - blinking in the sunlight glowing through the thin curtains.

I probably looked horrible.

The doctor straightened his white coat, adjusting the stethoscope around his neck as he glanced over at Viktor and then briefly at the ring on my hand.

"His brain scans came back clear. His concussion is major but we shouldn't have to worry about long-term brain trauma."

I nodded, feeling my heart start to settle it's erratic beats with the news.

But why was his face still grave?

"However, the CAT scans and MRI images have revealed that the C6 and C7 vertebrae are cracked and the intervertebral cartilage discs of his spine have ruptured. Normally, I wouldn't immediately suggest surgery, but the herniated discs are pressing against his spinal cord."

And this is why I never went to medical school. Whatever it was it sounded bad.

"Okay." I muttered, my voice barely a whisper. Whatever reassurance I'd just had suddenly gone with this new piece of his diagnosis.

I glanced at Viktor as he moved, white sheets shifting over his body.

My throat started to close - hands starting to shake. I clenched my fists, trying to keep from falling apart.

Why was he telling me? What could I possible do? Why wouldn't he tell someone he knows about this stuff?! Yakov?! His family? Even Yurio!

"We'll have to do surgery today or tomorrow. Do you know what this could mean?"

How would I know what this could mean?!

I felt my vision waver.

I shook my head, mouth gaping as I struggled for words - nerves physically shaking me. "No…"

"Excessive damage to the spinal cord either naturally or as a complication or surgery could lead to partial or total paralysis. And even a full recovery for the average patient could cause-"

I know the next words - My veins turned to stone.

"-complications to his professional career."

Even though I could predict his words, they were just as crushing. I felt my knees weaken suddenly. Reaching for the rail on the wall, I steadied myself - trying to force a breath.

The doctor took a step toward the door. "I want you to be aware of the risk and be able to talk this over with your partner. I'll have the full information sent in with a nurse when he wakes up again."

I'm not sure if he left.

I'm not sure if a nurse came in.

Or when I fell to the floor.

Or how long I sat there.

All I could hear was that horrible beeping on his machine and the almost inaudible violin. Each string asking the same question:

Why weren't you here?

Where were you?

"Yuuri?" His voice pulled me from my trance - air finally entering my lungs after what seemed like ages. He sounded strained - desperate - and I scrambled to my feet as he tried to move his head, searching the room with squinted eyes.

They widened when he saw me and then he visibly relaxed, resting into the pillow with a sigh - eyes closing once again.

"The floor is more comfortable for sleeping then the chair?" He murmured, lips curving into a smile at the corners as I rushed to his side to grasp his hand, sinking into my chair once again. My chest felt ripped in two as I watched his smile - broken as struggled for words.

I am so inadequate.

Stupid.

Useless.

I have no idea what to do…

"Viktor…"

My head bent, I rested it on the edge of his bed.

He offered a slight shrug. "Is that a yes, then?"

I felt my stomach churn.

He had to know.

"Viktor, they say you're hurt bad. They have to do surgery and you might be…"

I felt a soft finger run the line of my jaw, pausing at my chin to lightly lift my head from the mattress. Blue eyes waited to capture my gaze.

"...they said you might be… that, your skating might be…"

I sucked in a breath.

He finished for me. "...Ended?"

It was all I could do to nod, bottom lip clenched between my teeth as I tried to bite the aching pain in my chest away.

He considered for a moment, gaze drifting to the ceiling. "Hm."

I lost it.

"I have no idea what to do!" I blurted, clutching his hand even tighter as I felt a tear fall from my eye. "What do I do, Viktor? What do you need? Why would he tell me? I'm sorry I'm so useless!"

Eyes snapping back to fix me with a glare, he tried to sit up. Wincing with the pain, he fell back and I lurched from my chair. "Be careful." I murmured, suddenly embarrassed by my outburst as I tried to let his hand go.

He gripped mine harder.

"Yuuri."

I didn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Come here." He tugged at my hand and I tripped forward, barely catching myself on the edge of his bed with one hand. "No, come up here." he murmured, sheets rustling as he patted the bed next to him.

I hesitated before obliging him, lowering myself to sit next to him.

A long arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me down to lay next to him. I fell back with a yelp, wide eyes meeting the intense blue of his eyes. "You don't speak kindly of my favorite pupil."

I blinked at him for a moment, lips parted.

He furrowed his brows with a frown. "I don't like that."

I looked away, but again his fingers found my jaw and he tilted my head toward him. "You are not useless, Yuuri."

I knew this talk. I hated having this talk.

"Viktor, I didn't mean that..." I stammered, shifting my arm from underneath me to lay on my side more comfortably. "...I don't know what to do, you should have someone here who knows what to tell the doctor and what to tell you and what to -"

Again his fingers found my lips - silencing me.

I watched him, holding my breath as he squinted at me, a crooked grin starting to pull his lips upward at the corners. "You think I cannot talk to doctors myself?"

"No… I-"

"You think I do not know what is to be done?"

"No!"

"Then why are you upset? Clearly, I am not in need of help."

I felt my cheeks flush as his grin scorned me - I looked away. "I didn't mean that you needed my help, I know you don't-"

"You're right, I don't."

I froze at his nonchalant tone - like a blow to the face with that lazy, half smiling expression.

He searched for my eyes for a moment, I tried to evade them, but finally he held my gaze. "But there's no one I'd rather have with me."


End file.
